Un mare di creta

(Sorry this post in only in Italian)

Echebello!

(Sorry this post in only in Italian)

Mei vacanties

"Mei vacanties"... I feel happy like a child.

Mei vacanties: may holiday. Even the name sounds nice.

Two weeks without school, spring break.

For me it is like a migration.

It is always traveling backwards, going home and then leaving again.

I go back to my land, my colors, scents and sounds...

the same way birds fly back to warm countries.

Like birds I find everything back there: the nest, all the things abandoned some months ago,

lost memories that come back  to life in a blink.

I live again the deep silence of the nights, their dense darkness,

I wake up with the birds singing and the sun on my face.

I go back to be again a daughter and not only a mum,

to walk outside in underwear,

to drink the good coffee

and to see the faces I left,

and  some new, hopefully.

When I fly there I feel still moved, 

up in the sky I let already go of the load,

picking only the nicest thoughts,

the ones far away, unreachable,

the ones that are just a moment, and I cannot keep for long

the ones that make me loose my balance...

and feel good again.

Well, it is the last week before our lovely "mei vacanties",

stretched this time,

just to keep the moment a bit longer.

2014

Finally silence. 

I can smell the scient of coffee in the house and hear the sound of the wind outside.

Nobody is calling "mamma" or "aunt" or even my name.

I find back the friendly "mess" I have left, 

notes on paper over the keyboard, full with ideas. 

The time has come to put those ideas in order on a calendar and chage them into "something":

a toy, a project, a dress, a garden. 

2014 arrived full of promises, from the stars, 

off course (which I follow with deep gratitude), 

and now it is time to get back to work and accomplish them.

We have started walking on the stones of the Museumpark, 

looking at the lights of the city behind the black net of the tree branches.

Happy new year to all.

Like the First Day at School...

Who doesn't remember the first day at school?

She was holding my hand while we were walking the stairs.

Children crying around were like kilometers away

since I could only feel my shaking legs

and I cold not get rid of a lump on my throat ,

tears were ready to fall...

A few minutes together, then thousand kisses, a hug. See you later.

Children bring us back to the start, they teach us, once again, how to walk.

Start over.

Again, with the load of mistakes and the lightness of the experience.

Today is like my first day at school,

we have a full life to learn,

to fall,

to get up and try once more.

That lump was there 

because every start is overwhelming with curiosity

and with fears.

Feeling guilty...

It is always the same story,

not that it happens that often, but every time, soon after...it happens.

It happens that I feel guilty, 

that I tell myself over and over again " I raised my voice again"...and the tension is still rising up"; it happens that She seems to understand that I have not way out, and it happens that I would love to delete that moment.

Then it also happens that I say "I am not perfect, I am learning everything as well, day by day, event by event. In fact I do not know nothing about what it means to be a parent...I don't know, I am learning everything with you. 

Now let's try to grow together.

Dolls...

All the Christmas presents are almost ready. 'Almost', since all the various pieces (heads, legs, arms, hair...) are still traveling somewhere between Munchen and Ancona. It is not a horror trailer, just the components to be put together, of the new Waldorf Doll, the doll that will be this year the present for all the children of the family. Hand made during my 'spare'! time.  Hopefully they will be here in time!

The only one who missed the danger is here, Anna J.J., she just couldn't be in the hold of the aircraft!

With the images of Anna J.J I wish you a very nice, sweet Christmas, and happy new 2013.